I had just got back from a funeral in Oklahoma, and had nothing to do. Alone on a Sunday night, bored out of my mind. Picking up hired guns has been a weak point in my game for quite awhile now. So what better way to spend the night than attempting to bag a stripper. I took a shower, threw on my maple leaf hoodie, and went to Caberet Royale. DO NOT SHOW UP TIL' 1AM, I got there at 10:30, it was dead, there were three strippers, all of which were 6 or worse. The next two and a half hour were the longest of my life. Finally at 1am, it picked up when the talent started rolling in. I look towards the main stage, dancing around to techno music, there is this tiny puerto rican girl with pink angel wings. Taget aquired as far as I'm concerned. I wait until she is in the cage by my table, and shoot her a glance, making sure to quickly redirect my attention elsewhere. Sure enough she eventually makes her way to my table to try an empty my wallet. I explained that I wasn't in the right head space, talked about the funeral, DHVed my ass off, negged her, ran a few routines, including my "canada is america's hat" routine. I would estimate 30 min. had passed, when I said I was going to leave, and that "I would like to continue our converstation at another time, perferabaly when she was wearing more clothes", which got a laugh. HBangelwings gave me her number, and left. At that point, I thought I was golden, until she came back telling me to follow her. We made our way to a dark secluded area to be alone. My thoughts are many, as I can't figure out where this is going. Then I hear my zipper going down, which makes me freak. Right as I was going to say something, HBangelwings tells me to be quiet and that she is going to cheer me up. I don't know what I said to initiate a handjob of all things, but I know when to shut my mouth and enjoy a good thing. Everything is fine until HBangelwings goes down and does one of thoses stripper moves, where she rolls her R over the tip of my cock, and BOOM, I give her the moneyshot right in her eye. She is flipping out, which in turn gets the attention of security. Now I've always assume stuff like this happens in strip clubs from time to time, and security just turns their head, apparently not so, as I get my ass tossed out in the rain. It was perfectly clear that I was not to return... I'm just going to file this in my folder of freak accidents.
I wonder if I should still call her....
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